Letters from Birthmothers: Katie

Every Night I lie here and wonder,
"Would you love me less if I chose to be your mother?
Or would you be happier,
If I gave you to another.

For nine long months,
I have watched you grow.
And how much I love you,
You'll never know.

Soon you'll be here.
The end is what I fear.
For my decision is tough,
And I can't think enough.

Praying all night,
Waiting for what's right,
And hoping that someday,
I'll know exactly what to say.

My love will not fade,
For you I have made.
I have given you my heart,
And I pray we never part.
That final day is oh so near,
And losing you is double fear.
For there is not just one of you,
But two!

My life is not so simple.
I wish you could understand,
That I only want to give you the best,
And I leave, In God's hands the rest.

Imagining smiles, kisses, and hugs;
Endless chasing of bugs,
Will bring great joy to my mind.
But only in pictures and letters, will be this joy I find.

Two beautiful baby girls,
Long hair, and lots of curls.
You will be the best of friends,
And that love never ends.

I wish that I could hold you both,
From now until I die.
But the greatest gift I shall give;
A wonderful life to live.

On the day of your birth,
I will hold you all night.
I will kiss you both on your nose
And count all ten of your toes.

Then that day will appear;
The saddest day of the year,
Your new mom will hold you tight,
And take you home that night.

The tears will fall like rain,
From the aching, endless pain.
And if I never sleep,
Your memory I'll always keep.

As you grow,
Remember this verse.
"For God so loved the world
that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life."

Remember the Lord is your savior,
And he will remember you.
You may never understand my love,
Until we meet above.

I Love You!
Katie