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Adoptive parents letters
Birthmother letters
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Dear Son,

When I gave birth to you and they asked me if I wanted to hold you, at first I was scared, because I knew I had to give you to Preston and Janet. I was scared of getting attached so I said no. Later, your dad suggested we get you from the nursery. So we brought you back to the room and slept close to you all night. All we did was kiss you and cry and look at you and cry. It was so bittersweet. We were so young and I knew I couldn't give you the life I wanted you to have at the time. When I went to the adoption center, I saw Preston and Janet's picture right away and said, "That's them! That's who I want to raise my son." They just seemed to be my style in a way and I just got a good feeling when I saw the picture.

It's been 11 years since I've seen you and I miss you and think of you every day, especially now that I have my own children. I really enjoy my kids and I can say with confidence that I'm a good mom. So I often wonder what it would have been likeÖ I know we don't know each other but I love you so much it hurts. I canít wait to see you someday and just hear your voice and hear all about your life. We will all be waiting in case you ever decide to meet us. Please, don't ever think I don't love you. I love you so much. I gave my own son to someone that could provide for him a better life.



your birth mother

 
 

Dear Son,

You are a part of the most amazing story in my life, of God's mercy and grace. Because of you, I have a greater understanding of the love that God has for me. It was during the time that I found out that I was pregnant that Jesus revealed His salvation to me that I felt I had wandered too far to attain. "But God, Who is rich in mercy and abounding in love, demonstrated His own love for me in this: while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me." And the Bible also says in I John 1:9 -" If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

While I was carrying you, God transformed me from a Christian who thought I was a pretty good person who loved God into a Christian who realized that I was not living a life worthy of or pleasing to God, yet God loved me and showered me in His love. This was overwhelming to me. Your mom and dad, Jordan and Erica, were the first gift (besides the amazing gift of His love, salvation, and forgiveness) that God blessed me with after I knew you were in my womb. They were friends of friends and were talking about adoption one day and it was mentioned they knew of a baby they could adopt -they were ready right away! They didn't know you were still in my tummy and had 6 months to go! Yet God orchestrated a way for us to finally speak on the phone, and God gave me so much peace the first time I spoke with Erica on the phone. I knew she was the one to be your mom. I'll never forget during our first doctor's appointment during an exam, your mom held my hand, looked at me and smiled with caring eyes and I thought, "wow! This baby will have her for a mother." Son, God hand-picked your parents just for you! I was so blessed to have them by my side while I carried you. They made a mini cassette tape recording of their voices reading Bible stories to you and other books that I would play for you. They seemed to think that after you were born you recognized their voices! At night, I would be reading my Bible in bed and if I rested it on my tummy you would let me know you were being crowded and kick back or roll around.

Several people thought I would have a difficult time giving you up for adoption. I remember a girl making a comment that she could never give her baby up for adoption. But that night I felt the Lord tell me "You are doing what I want you to do." That gave me so much peace and comfort-to know that "God works all things to the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." And you, Son, are part of God's plan. Before you were even born, God used you to bring me closer to Him! Another awesome story - when I went to a crisis pregnancy center before I met your parents, a Christian radio station was playing. The song was so perfect. It said, "I'm gonna walk by faith, not by sight, 'cause I can't see straight in the broad day light. And I'm gonna walk by faith, not be fear, 'cause I believe in the One who brought me here." God used those last words to lead me back to Himself. I had been feeling so guilty up to that point, so ashamed of myself for letting God down and I had always looked down on girls who got pregnant before they were married. Yet there I was! Where was my conviction to stay sexually pure until I was married? Son, I pray that God will keep you pure until marriage. His ways are the best ways! He wants to protect us from all of these unnecessary trials.

Yet, I hope you understand that through my disobedience, God still rescued me. I love to quote Psalm 103 - "He delivered my life from the pit!" And He does the same for anyone who will put their hope and trust in Jesus. He took the punishment for our sin. It is amazing how much He loves us. I love how He created you to bring me to repentance, to show me how He supernaturally provides for our every need and He also knew the deep desire that Jordan and Erica had for a family - and you were the one He chose to be their first son! Our God is an awesome God. He is able to turn any circumstance into something for His glory, if we just obey Him.

I pray that you will continue to glorify our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ - that we will live to glorify Him because He has given us a life and a purpose. You are loved!

love

Judy

 

Dear Sweet Baby Girl,

I really can't begin to tell you all the things I feel about you. Just believe that I love you more than I thought possible and that I would do anything that I could to see that you got the very best out of life and that you are happy. This is the reason I let you go. Not because I didn't want to keep you, but because I didn't think that I could give you all that you deserve and should have.

I know a little about your parents. They sound wonderful and like they'll be able to supply all the love, support and background that I would want you to have; the same things I would give you if I could. Stay close to your parents and to the church and the Lord. That's the most important thing you can do. It's taken a lot to make me learn that and I hope you won't have to pay for my mistakes. Make the most of your opportunities and abilities. It sounds like you have the environment to make them all possible. Love your family. They are your real parents and family. They'll be your truest friends when you need them.

Little One, have a good life. Remember I'll always love you. You have changed my life and I'll always remember you and try to be better because of you.

I love you much

your birth mother

 

Dear Baby,

This has got to be the most difficult letter that I have had to write, but I feel that it is necessary. The main point that I wish to get across is that I love you so much that I decided not to abort you, but instead to give you a chance at life. Your parents wanted someone that they could share life's experiences with to create a family. At the time of your birth, I just wasn't capable of doing that and I felt that you deserved better. I understand your wonderings because I was adopted. Don't think that you were a mistake because God doesn't make mistakes. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Listen to your parents. They are good people and they only want the best for you and for you to be the best that you can be. Always love and respect them.

Love

your birth mother

 

Charlotte,

We're both so grateful for all the help and understanding you've shown us in this special time of need. All we can say is "Thank you" because how do you thank someone for saving your child's life?

Always

Linda and Trent

 

Dear Charlotte,

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your help. You were a good friend to me and I thank you for listening to me no matter how much I rambled on and for never trying to push me into my decision. Even though it was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever had to do, I have come to the conclusion that it was right. You made me as comfortable as I could possibly be with the decision by all your help. I know you prayed for me and prayed to find the right family for my son. It meant a lot to me that you took the time to find the right people and that you were still enough to listen to God when He told you to wait until my baby was born before considering Lawrence and Emily. I have faith that they are exactly the people God had to come along. You are doing a wonderful thing with your life and you have helped me through some tough times.

Thank you for me and for my son.

Laney

 

Dear Charlotte,

I've been thinking about writing this letter for several years, and after having lunch with a friend of mine this week, I decided to finally sit down and write it! You see, my friend was adopted and she told me that the one thing she really craved when she was growing up was a picture of her birthmother. She wanted to know if she looked like her birthmother, or her birthfather. Another friend of mine, who has two older adopted children told me that her children had expressed similar desires.
As to contacting Abby, I will leave it to your discretion. None of my reasons for disturbing her are pressing, and if you feel it is in Abby's best interests not to be contacted, I will respect your decision. Grace has not asked for a picture of her birthmother yet, and if you should send us one, I will put it in our safety deposit box until such time she asks about any pictures. Grace seems to be very comfortable with the subject of adoption. We have discussed it often, read her books about why children are adopted, and we have read together the first letter Abby wrote us from the hospital.
First and foremost: She is a JOY to our lives. I thank God for her, as well as Jimmy, every night. Not only is she beautiful, but she is loving, very intelligent and utterly charming. I'll give you a more balanced picture after I rave about her for a few more sentences. She is extremely bright. At parent teacher conferences, all of her teachers open the conference with that assessment. The second thing they say is that they LOVE her. She is a straight A student, she is extremely accurate and conscientious on every paper she turns in. This past fall, she began taking piano lessons. She seems to enjoy them and practices regularly, but her real passion is for singing. She sings along to every piece that has words. She sings all the time and it reflects a very happy disposition and a little girl who truly likes who she is.
All I can say is, she completed our family in a way too wonderful to believe. I can't begin to express our gratitude to her birthmother, except to say that we have conveyed to Grace the love and courage Abby showed for Grace by letting us adopt her. Grace shares all the positive feelings about her birthmother that we feel, and if you decide itís right to contact her, Please tell her "Thank you". We are all very happy.

Sincerely yours,

Ava

 

To My Dear Baby,

You know, sometimes in our life we are forced to make the hardest decisions and this is one of those times. I realize that the decision I make today could very well haunt me for the rest of my life.
I have decided to give you, my baby, up for adoption. The reason being that I do feel that neither his father nor myself can raise a child in a stable and secure environment. A lot of people believe that when a child is put up for adoption it is because his parents do not love him. Let me say that it is because I love you so much that I give you up. Stability when raising a child is very important. I was raised in a very unstable home and it is probable that due to that fact, I want something better for you. Unfortunately, stability, the one thing that I deem is necessary, is the one thing that I do not have.
I involved myself with every aspect of your adoption (even choosing your adoptive parents) because I wanted my baby in the very best of hands. There were times when I just wanted to carry you off, but then thought of having to struggle just to raise you properly.
I began loving you from the first moment that I brought you into the world. When the doctor cut the cord you would not release it, holding on tightly with clenched hands. I continued watching you, feeding you, and just being with you as often as possible because the idea of you being alone in the nursery was not too appealing. I suppose because I saw so much of you, it will only make my pain of leaving you behind more intense. I never realized how much pain was involved with giving up a child. Even as you sit here on my chest as I write, the tears flow just knowing that in a few hours I'll never see you again or hear that little whine that you make. It is like having my soul and heart cut into and leaving half of it behind in the nursery.
I have faith in the couple we have chosen to be your mother and father. I'll never stop wishing that if things would have been more secure in my life, that there would have been nothing to stop me from taking you home. I will think of you, who I love very much, and will continue to love you for the rest of my life.

Your loving

mother

 

Dear Joy,

It blesses me to know how thrilled you are with your new baby. I am so pleased that such joy could result from such a painful experience. You'll never know the relief and comfort I feel inside because of your decision to allow Charlie to become a part of your lives. Charlotte was surely led by God in selecting such warm and sensitive people as yourselves to raise my child. I am so grateful.
At times the hurt becomes difficult to deal with. However, Psalm 126:5-6 says, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." This has consoled me through this time of adjustment. God has given me such peace about this step I've taken and I have every confidence that you will "train up this child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Thank you so much for the beautiful photos of the baby! He seems so contented. I'll cherish these pictures forever!

God Bless You!

Marilee

 

Dear Friends,

It takes time to heal wounds, as it also takes time to learn and adjust to what has to be done. It took time for me. Iím not sure of what you think of me. Iím not too sure of what I think of myself anymore. I know that my son is healthy and happy. Every time I look at his pictures, it never ceases to amaze me how something so small can grow inside oneself. It was something very special, and an experience Iíll never forget! I hope that he will be perfectly healthy and happy always. I am a Christian and hope that someday my son will know of Jesus. I really miss the little guy. He kicked quite a lot. But I am assured that he will always be very well taken care of.

Thank you.

Sharon

 

Dear Charlotte,

I received your letter the other day. I have not realized how much I come to you with my problems all the time. I guess I just write it down on paper, and end up mailing it to you. It's only because you've helped me through a hard time and you've been such a good friend to Franklin and me. We both appreciate this.
I'm sure that we will be all right, if given some time. And things do have a reason for happening, and will work out in their own way. I'm just worrying over everything - I guess itís my nature.
Hope you're doing well. I'm very glad to hear that Laurel it trying to walk!

Take care.

Cheryl

 

Dear Mills and Charlotte,

Merry Christmas Y'all! How are you? I think of you often. This past year has been a blur. I had a little boy last year. He is a joy. He keeps me on my toes. The other day I was looking through my pictures of Sara and it was amazing to see how much he resembles her. It made me smile to see her big round eyes and straight blond hair cut exactly the way mine was at her age. Thank you for giving me the only connection I have to her. She is safe, happy and loved by many families because your family held my hand through such a difficult decision. Thank you. I hope all is well. Please tell Martin and Vicki I think of them every day.

Love,

Georgina

 

Dear Charlotte,

I hope all is well in Texas. We have finally moved into our house after 7 months of building. It was tough but we love it. As I told you when I called last year, I am the mother of a 3 1/2 year old little boy. He is my light. Everyday I look at him and wonder what Jani looks like now and how much they seem to look alike - although only through pictures. I see the same nose and big round eyes. Will I ever meet her again? Is she a happy pre-teen? Does she understand why her life is with Brenda and Jim, her parents? What are her favorite activities? Please let me know everything you can. My husband is an attorney here and hears many adoption and custody cases. Oh, how my life has changed. Recently I reached my 11- year sobriety date. Not many people can say that. I have Jani to thank for that and more. Everyday I still think of her in the hospital with questions of her health unsure. We spent 3 days together which I count as a blessing. Those tiny fingers covering her eye in the elevator. Does she know I have those memories? Is she still the love of Brenda and Jim? How old is her sister? I'm no good at writing letters to you about her. Too many questions. Too many emotions to write down in a sensible way. Please fill me in. Please check in with them. I need to know she is happy; I wish I could be there when she is not.

Very truly yours,

Valerie

 

Dear Mack and Kari,

Thank you very much for the video you sent to us. It 's meant everything in the world to me. Shirley is growing up so fast. She looked very loved and well taken care of. I know you love her very much and she has brought a lot of joy to you and your family. I have so much to say to you, I just don't know how to say it. You have and will be able to give her so much more than I can. I know in my heart that God must have had a hand in choosing you to be her parents. Please give her a kiss and hug from me and let her know I love her very much. I love you too, and hope everyone stays safe and happy. Please keep in touch with us and whenever you are able, send pictures.

Love always,

Lilly

 

Dear Charlotte,

I am doing fine. I have moved. I have big dreams and am looking forward to the future. I came here with a friend Iíve known for a long time. She is married and has five kids. George and I broke up in August, but we still remain friends. I don't know why, but I always feel like I should only write when everything is going great. I live alone in an apartment. I love the solitude. I've signed a year lease so I plan to stay here at least a year. I hope you and your family are doing well. I look forward to seeing pictures of Lindy. I hope Carol and her family are doing fine also.
I want you to know, Charlotte, how special you are. Every time I write these letters it gets to me emotionally. You help so many people. You sincerely care about each one.

Love,

Abigail

 

Dear Charlotte,

Kenny and I live in an apartment complex that his dad lives in. Things are going well for me. We have a year lease. I really appreciate all that you have done for me. Now that Kellie is a year old, I reflect back on the time I spent with her. I remember when she was growing inside of me, and all that I went through. I enjoyed the time I spent with her when she was outside my body. I remember everything with pain and happiness. When I begin writing a letter to you or to Nick and Sheila, I feel a flood of emotions. Perhaps this is the reason I don't write as often as I should. You and Mills have been great to me. You are very compassionate and understanding people. I hope things are going well for you and your family.

Sincerely,

Marjorie

 

Dear Dennis and Teresa,

I have made many letters. Some letters are half done with no closiragraph or my name at the end. They are all messy rough drafts. One day I will finally complete each one and send them to you. I think of Emily every day. I am comforted in knowing you are her parents. She is being well taken care of and loved by you and your family. That is evident through the pictures you send me. I am in the middle of making her birthday present. I wanted to finish it in time for her birthday, but I am not able to do so. I am somewhat of a perfectionist and a procrastinator. I am not sure when I will be pleased with the gift, so that I could send it with confidence. I am sorry for not writing sooner. I put pressure on myself to write the "perfect" letter, but I know that is not possible. This particular letter I wrote a day after her birthday. I have been rewriting it ever since. I feel God has blessed Millie in giving her the both of you as parents. I pray to God to look after Millie and your family. Tell Millie I love and miss her very much. Give her a hug and a kiss from me. Also tell her "Happy Birthday" for me.
Please continue to send pictures and letters. I treasure them immensely.

Sincerely,

Paula

 

Dear Marty, Joan, and Katie Marie,

I want to thank you for all the updates and pictures you've shared with me. You are a beautiful family and I love seeing all the smiles. A while ago I said I would tell you about myself. I'm not sure of what you already know about me, but I hope this letter will tell you more and answer any questions you may have. I met Katie Marie's birth father in high school. We were both juniors, became friends and started going out during what would have been my senior year. Things didn't work out. We were at different places in our lives, so after awhile we ended our relationship, but remained friends and went on with our lives. Then I realized I was pregnant. I told her father after a few months. He tried to be supportive, but I really leaned on Charlotte and my mom. I had some morning sickness, but it soon passed and I began to feel movement. Katie Marie was such a joy to have in the womb. She was always very active and making her presence known! She was finally ready and my mom took us to the hospital on December 30, 1994 around 1 a.m. and at 3:10 p.m. I gave birth to the most beautiful girl in the world! My mom and I were overwhelmed with emotions. We held her and kissed her tiny hands and head. I had talked to her a lot when she was in the womb so I named her Leah Ė I didn't want to call her "Baby" for 9 months. Leah and I watched the TV specials together and I wished her the happiest New Year! She had 3 visitors the next day and she was totally angelic the entire hospital stay. I held her the entire time, changed her, fed her a few bottles, and kept her wrapped in her blankets. She was perfect and ready for her new family! My mom and I dressed her up, then tucked her in with her blanket and Pooh Bear. We kissed her and told her how much we loved her. There were many tears. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I would ever do, but I wanted her to have a secure family and a father. The next day I spoke to you both over the phone. You assured me you'd take care of Katie Marie and for that, I am eternally grateful to you. You are my angels and I will love all of you forever. I can't thank you enough for all you have done and will do for this very special baby. Thank you and I love you.

All my love, always

Sandy Lynn

 
 

Dear Janie,

Hello, my baby girl. I miss you a lot and wish I could be with you on your first birthday. I know I made the right choice by giving you to this family. Iíve never met them, but I know they're a wonderful family because of all the pictures they have sent me. You have your beautiful smile on your face. You are a beautiful, little girl and in the years to come it's going to just keep increasing. I hope one day you come to meet me. I will be waiting for that day. I love you very much, and I hope you never think otherwise. I will never forget you, sweetheart.

Love Always,

Tammie "Mom"

 

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you so much for everything youíve done for me. I appreciate everything and just wanted to send a little note to say thanks!

Love Ė Josie

 
 

Hi Charlotte,

I got your letter. It was really sweet. Thank you. I think it is so weird that when I think of Melissa or you, I hear from you. I feel like we have known each other for so long. I love you and Mills in such a special way. You have done so much for me, not just by giving my daughter a life, but helping me through this. Itís almost like you have walked by my side. Iíve almost made it through the tough part. Well, I have made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Halloween. Now I just have her birthday. Not that it will ever be easy but Iím sure it will be a little easier when I have passed the first year. Thanks again for all you have done (and all the long talks, too). Tell Mills thanks, too.

Shirley

 
Dear Hailey, James and Joey,

Here it is just a few mins after midnight, and like every year I can't sleep because I know today is a special day for all of us. I can not believe that he is 17. WOW!!!! The day he was born is still fresh in my mind, I remember picking you to be his family. As soon as I saw your photos I picked you, but charlotte said I had to read all the profiles and I was still drawn to you. I remember asking before I saw the profiles, was it next baby next family, she told me no I could pick the family and my next words were " find me a family….. I don't care the reason; that has had a hard time adopting, and that is who I want to adopt my son". No, she couldn't tell me and maybe it was the warmness in my heart but I knew it had to be you. The pregnancy was great and when I went on Christmas Eve for my check up I never wanted to hear the Dr say uh-oh..not words you want to hear. Yes, Joey became stubborn and had to go breach... They wanted me to come back New Years Eve and flip him, but NOPE he couldn't wait for that, but he was nice enough to wait for the football game to be over, and off we went to have the c-section. Hailey and James did not know yet, but soon they would and I couldn't wait for them to know their son was here...I waited for what seemed to be a lifetime for them to get to the hospital. FINALLY, they were there and I handed them the sweetest baby boy and said, "meet your son, and NO, I'm not ever changing my mind."

Hailey hugged me so hard and I watched and your faces were filled with love and happiness because your family was complete. I thank God every day for you and the blessing that you have brought me and as I write this my eyes are filled with tears but not of sadness but with joy because as I say it was the hardest thing I have ever done but the best thing I have ever done.

Today, I still adore the bracelet that was given to me on my first Mother's Day with a simple charm of xoxo as a reminder that my heart…my love…my son is being raised by wonderful parents and I could never ask for more.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joey, I love you very much and hope you have a great day, which I know you will. I'm proud of you and the young man you have become.

Love,
Your BIRTHMOTHER, Bess

 
 

Charlotte and Mills,

Thanks again for all that you do and have done for me. You both hold a very special place in my heart as well as Whitney and Bob.

Love,
Jennifer

 
 

Charlotte,

Just checking in to hear about Emilie and hopefuly get to see another photo of her! Last photos I saw were amazing. She is gorgeous and I love reading about her colorful personality. I can't believe she will be five years old this May. I dont know where the time has gone, I' ve never stopped loving her or thinking about her and although I am very different now I have always felt the same about my decision for her, I know she is where she belongs and has had stability I would not have been able to provide her. I do hope to be able to wrap my arms around her & just be able to hug her someday when she is old enough to comprehend everything....that's if she wanted to ever meet me of course. I often look at her photos and reread emails about her and imagine her voice and it brings me to tears but the feeling is bitter sweet because although my heart hurts without knowing her, the joy of knowing that she has a family that loves her and that she will be a better person because of them, outweighs that hurt. Thank you all for everything!.

Love,
Margaret

 
 

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you for the pictures, she is so beautiful. I'm glad to hear that she's doing great! I am very happy & I thank Sean & Kirsten for taking her in, loving and caring for her as their own. I never stop thinking about them and will always love them. I also want to thank you, too, Charlotte for everything you've helped with.

Best,
Mandy



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